You Will Dream of Mimes Now, I did.

You really wish you knew this guy, don't you?

Another day in history with only war, murder, and general pestilence. Nothing I can really poke fun at in good taste (or even what I consider reasonably good taste). Instead, let me share a News of the Weird article with you:

In October, about 120 professional mimes began voluntarily patrolling the traffic-congested Sucre district of Caracas, Venezuela, at the request of Mayor Carlos Ocariz. The white-gloved mimes' specialty was wagging their fingers at scofflaw motorists and pedestrians, and mimes interviewed by the Associated Press reported improvements.

There is so much wrong with this article. First, “professional” mimes. Really? Professional implies that they are paid. Let me get this straight, there are 120 mimes in Caracas who are earning a living pretending to struggle to walk against a strong wind, play tug or war, or be trapped inside a box? Ever the skeptic, I remain unconvinced by this dubious claim. Second, if wagging a finger is all it takes to stop crime, they should get about a million grandmothers out on the streets immediately. My grandmother could easily control me with a wag of her finger and a quiet “shush” (a value added embellishment not available to a mime), but I doubt it would have been as effective with your average scofflaw—and my Mamaw was a big girl, not some skinny, sad looking mime with a white face. Third, how does one interview a mime? How would they report that there were improvements? Maybe they progressively walked faster in the imaginary wind storm or some crazy artsy-fartsy crap like that. And finally, if a tree falls on a mime in a forest, does anyone care?

Anyone else remember Shields & Yarnell from the 1970’s. Two mimes, a married couple, with a prime-time variety show. I think there were about 6 episodes. Not a whole lot you can do with mimes after you exhaust the aforementioned wind walking and trapped in a box shtick. Someone at a network must have been high when they thought that up. No rerun syndication for that odd little footnote in TV history.

Daily Demotivator: No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you’ve probably only seen the tip of them.