Why oh why

Somewhere, somehow, my email address has made its way into a database that a) thinks I am a man, and b) thinks I need to enhance my own pleasure and that of my companion with products like extenze.

In addition, I am apparently on a mailing list for infant products. So either they think I am pregnant, just had a child, or maybe a man who is pregnant. I get formula samples in the mail at least weekly and Huggies coupons every freakin' day.

Why can’t I get things I will actually use?