"Giving vampire blood to Jason Stackhouse is like giving ho-hos to a diabetic. You know he can't control himself!"and my favorite:
"Sookie, you have no future with a vampire!"
"They don't die. I've got nothing but a future with one."
"I can see that he's a very nice man."
"He's not."
"He's not nice?"
"Or man."
"Momma, he's so white."
"No, darling. We're white. He's dead."
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