Walmart = Hell

In regards to faith and my belief in the hereafter, it is similar to the way it was depicted in "What Dreams May Come". I believe each heaven and each hell will be personalized.

I am unclear as to what my heaven would be like, but I know damn sure what my hell would be.....Walmart.

I don't know why we always put ourselves through the misery. We actually think this time will be different. I will run right in, grab the three items I need and run out. Actually if we actually did this, we would get arrested for shoplifting. I wonder how the jail time compares to say, murder. Because I cannot emphasize enough how close I am to just that.

Last evening, I went in (fooling myself totally that this would be easy) grabbed my few items and went straight to the "express lane" (so deceptive). There was a 50ish lady actually at the point of paying, the belt was empty - I was at the home stretch. I lay my items down. She slowly rummages her checkbook out and around. The cashier says $83.**. This bitch has a cart full - this is the 10 items or less express.

Okay chill. She is almost done, I didn't have to wait for 53 items to be rung up. But then she stops. "Oh I forgot cigarettes, can you ring them up separate?"

I LOST IT! I threw my items back in cart and said "I must have been mistaken - I thought this was the express lane" and stomped away before I smacked the bitch.

Soon, very soon I will be up on assault charges. I can see the headline now:

Arrested: Local Lady Attacks Customer At WalMart
Mob of women storm courthouse demanding release. Judge dismissed the case on the grounds of justifiable cause and demanded the WalMart clerk be brought up on charges for conspiracy.

Maybe that is my heaven...hee hee hee.