If I hear one more mother complain about how busy her life is and how her schedule of events, i.e. the child's social life, prohibits her from doing anything including breathing - I will scream.
Why is it that when you are childless people are constantly saying things like:
"You don't know what you are missing, it is so wonderful and fulfilling."
"Why wouldn't you want to have kids, it just completes your life."
"blah blah blah blah blah"
However, in the next conversation you hear:
What do they think they are selling? It is like the Sears & Roebuck bait and"I don't know when I am going to get to sleep. Buffy has dance class, piano lessons, soccer practice, soccer games, not to mention school, tutor appointments, and did I mention the homework?"
"Billy belongs to soccer, basketball, football, and baseball - and of course no one else will coach them so who gets stuck doing it (translated - I volunteered).
switch.
"Come on in the water is fine ------- aaaah the water is boiling - fooled ya!"I don't believe no one else will do it - I believe they can't say no or are maniacal control freaks who have to be in charge of everything because they believe no one else can do it as good.
Give me a freakin' break. Stop trying to validate your choice to procreate by setting yourself up as the world's best mom because you can do everything - not even mentioning the quality of your efforts when you spread yourself so thin.
And most of all, stop trying to make the rest of us feel sorry for you. We don't and never will.
Bring on the hate. I am ready.
4 comments:
I know!!! I wanted to scream this at my sister-in-law this past weekend. Sorry I don't believe my six year old nephew signed himself up for all that. Learn to say no.
Thanks for getting my back on this one. I'm sure I'll take some heat before this done.
Parenting, by its very nature, consumes time and energy and doesn't leave time for much else sometimes. I think that's what you're hearing: "Let me tell you about my life!"
It's not much different than the conversation you might have with someone who has a chronic health condition who wants to talk about it (especially with others who share the same illness) or someone who is consumed with a hobby or project -- "How 'bout them Cats?" or "My contractor just told me my new kitchen will take 5 more days!"
It's their life. Give them a break. Change the subject to something that YOU want to be obsessive about.
The "You don't know what you're missing" comments are awful, I agree. Try this Ms. Manners-ish comeback: "There are way too many alcoholics in my gene pool for me to risk it." That'll shut them up, for sure.
I am with nina. I don't encourage my kids to do things I don't want to cart them to or cannot afford or cannot fit into my day already. Don't complain to me if you don't have time to pee, but you just signed Jr up for another group sport. I guess I just have a different point of view, I have a child with a learning disability and a preschooler. Go tell someone else your problems! I have my own!
dott: My husband tells them "have you seen my father? would you want to risk the chance of those genes moving forward?"
I get that people need to talk about their life, it is those who use it as an excuse for getting out of anything they really don't want to do. Just say "I don't wanna do it" or as I heard Jon Brown say once "I don't feel the need to do that" (isn't that a great response?)
Misty: Amen sister.
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