I am going to share a story my brother told me recently. I know I won't do it justice because it was his personal experience and stories are always better firsthand. So bear with me.
My brother is a hunter. He will hunt anything that moves. He takes a vacation the first week of deer season every year, which is usually over his birthday as well. He hunts turkey, squirrel, and rabbit. He trained a black lab to be the perfect bird dog. Rich and Deuce are a heck of a team.
My parents own a 40 acre farm/woods. He has deer stands strategically placed and knows the property like the back of his hand. Preparing for the last turkey season, he purchased three blow up turkey decoys that cost more than I would spend on plastic blowup animals. (Not one word from anyone.)
He placed the decoys in the field and took his place in the deer stand, all just before dawn.
Picture this with me - cool, quiet, dark morning. All alone, he is sitting up in the tree focusing on the decoys which are just barely distinguishable by the moonlight. He then sees this large dark blob wobble (yes his words) over to the decoy. It then jumps on the decoy and "boom" it bursts.
This is where I can't articulate the animation of his story. He gets so upset because this thing has destroyed one of his decoys.
Before he can figure out what happened, he sees the dark blob thing (still has no clue at this point what the hell it is) head over to another decoy, and...yes the exact same thing happened.
He is jumping up and down at this point because he is nothing but frugal and this is pissing him off.
He is jumping up and down as he is telling the story too.
So at this point we are all asking "what was it?"
"You won't believe it."
"What???"
"An owl, a god-damned owl." It was at this point he begins to animate the actions of the owl by wobbling with his arms rounded out and then flaring up and attacking an invisible decoy.
We are rolling on the floor laughing at him and his animated frustration. When we finally get enough breath to ask -
"But what about the third one - did it get it the last one?"
"Nope."
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
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5 comments:
this was funny.
i'll share this with my father, who is also a world-class hunter.
i'm sure he'll feel your brother's pain.
does your brother share the meat with you? i could use some new recipes for venison.
I had to be careful with the ending, if you get my drift.
He would share, but we don't ask. He makes a lot of jerky, I know that. And for christmas one year he asked for a duck cookbook. Hilarious.
Hilarious story! You did a great job of retelling it. I could picture the whole thing perfectly.
Send him mom's way. They have an owl they need to set some decoys out for. They seem to have a kitten buffet going for the local owl (they have seen it happen!) and have no way to stop it. Now we know how.
Funny. It's a wonder he didn't fall out of the tree stand in his state of anger!
He has been known to fall out of the deer stand. He fell asleep one time and woke up on the ground. Lord only knows how long he was out. He is blonde you know.
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