Decks, Dicks & Duct Tape

Because I know you are all just waiting with baited breath to know how the deck is coming, here goes.

Saturday was another long and even hotter day. We ripped off the floor boards using crow bars and sledge hammers. Then spent an hour pulling out tetanus infested rusty nails from the remaining structure.

My husband had researched these handy dandy fasteners called "Tiger Claws". They hold the boards together on the sides so there are no screws showing on top. Nice thought on hollow, PVC, low quality composite material. But we got the solid heavy high grade thick stuff and those "claws" wouldn't even move with full strength sledge hammering. My husband just about busted the patio door glass balancing on one board and swinging.

After the temper tantrum was over, he reviewed the DVD that came with the product to see if we were just stupid - nope not stupid.

So we removed the fasteners and screwed in the boards. The screws match the boards and it took no time at all to finish all 21 of them. Those piece of shit claws will be going back and possibly a letter to the manufacturer will be drafted as well.

Then there was the thunderstorms...Lay and screw down two boards, run with drill to cover. Cover blows over. Run into house. Sun comes out. We lay two more boards. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

But the floor is done. Next week is the last leg of this project where we assemble the metal ballisters with the composite railing and post covers/caps. It really will look nice, especially after the landscaping.

I keep reminding myself of that as my hands are sore and swollen from the crow bar and drill; my back, calves and feet ache from balancing on joists and loose boards, and my sinuses/head hurts from working in the bent over position for most of the day. Enough of the whining.

So the Emmy's - no real surprises. Did anyone else think that James Gandolfini was a real ass last night? He looked like he was sulking all night and was forced to walk on stage once and mutter three words. What a dick.

While I am trashing, what the hell was wrong with Eva Longoria. She is so gorgeous and has the bod to kill, but this...the whole package sucked, hair and dress.

And then there was whoever the hell this is - I think somebody dragged out a mannequin from a 1962 stepford wives community theatre production. Scary.

And let's not forget #756 on the 999 Uses For Duct Tape.