Faux Holidays

This weekend my family is celebrating "Thanksgiving". I know, I know....it' s only the first week of November, but my mother and step-father go out of town every year for 10 days camping over the Thanksgiving holiday. Don't get me wrong...I am not complaining about this. There is never that tug-o-war at Thanksgiving for our attendance and attention at both sides of our family celebrations.

Christmas, on the other hand, is getting ridiculous. I dread this weekend's gathering simply because that is when the conversation will begin. "So when do we want to have Christmas this year?" some unsuspecting or possibly connivingly innocent person will ask. And then it begins.....

"We always had it on Christmas Eve growing up - why can't we still?"

"I have three other families to attend during a 24 hour period - until cloning is patented I can't do it all."

"But if you kids don't come home, we'll be all by ourselves."

"Does anyone really care about when it is...isn't it more important that it is at a time when we can all be there?"

"No."

"But Christmas is a season, not a day."

"The hell it is....December 25th on my calendar!"

Such spirit. Such a sense of family. Can you just stand all this love and sentiment in one room? Not me.

Every year my husband and I say "we're not doing it this year - let's go away". But we don't. Why? I still long for that Norman Rockwell Christmas where the family members are all happy to see each other and spend time with each other. You know the one....we all gather together for a meal, open presents, talk, laugh, and share until wee hours of the night when we gather sleepy children and car loads of presents and drive home to await Santa Claus.

Why do I long for a memory that doesn't exist anywhere but in storybooks? Reality is a bunch of grumpy, fat, drunk, related (and not so related) people rushing in and out over a two hour period whispering about Aunt so and so and the sister that always brings a new man each year. We open presents we don't like and say "oh thanks" and eat food that gets worse every year only to drag all that crap back home and swear we are not doing it again next year.

What will it take? This year we lost three family members to disease and death. You'd think we would begin to value the family we have left. You'd think we'd be happy to spend quality time with each other on December 20th or 27th or 31st. I can only hope and pray that this is so. I can only cross my fingers and swear that if it doesn't happen this year...I'm not doing it again next year!